STATISTICAL BATTLE.

I knew I was in deep trouble when I opened my Statistics note to read. The words and figures looked like a cryptic message from an alternate mystic universe, even though I was the one who penned the note down myself.

"Oh Lord, help your child!" I lamented internally, my hands pulling on my disheveled hair.

I looked around frantically for my phone and went ahead to call my friend Korede. After ranting to him about my woes, we agreed to meet at the relaxation center at the back of the abandoned yellow MTN building in the faculty.

This was the one thing that united every Unilag Economics student together - the trauma of Statistics.
Statistics was the crazier, more horrifying elder brother of Mathematics. A slave driver, brutally driving its subjects to near-insanity. It was no wonder that its students joined forces to battle and conquer it.

We would gather at any possible reading spot, solving problems, arguing about concepts, solving past questions; doing everything possible to save our GPA, while Statistics hovered about, watching.

The way I gathered with them for evening and late night reading sessions, which at the last minute turned into overnight reading all because I discovered by 11:45 pm that I was stuck on page 11 out of 766 pages of the PDF.

The way my heart always jumped a bit and beat erratically whenever someone sent another PDF material or past question to the group.
Doesn't it ever end? I nearly scream out in frustration.
How on earth did materials only materialize few days, or worse, hours to the exam??!

I was barely functioning on 3 hours of sleep, large doses of mosquito saliva, an unhealthy amount of Predator drink and a disgustingly plain diet. I had just about had it. My roommates laughed at me, both in hilarity and pity. But at least they knew not to disturb me.

The day we wrote the Statistics exam, I was surprisingly calm. I called it the peace before the storm; if only I had known...
It was a chaotic mess; a blur of sweat and scribbling, the time mercilessly speeding away.

After the exam battle, I slowly made my way to where my group of friends were gathered, talking animatedly. They noticed me.
      “Was it that bad ni?” Samiat questioned. “You look like you lost a loved one.”
I couldn't answer, the exam had struck me mute. I might have as well lost a loved one, at least I'd been friends with A's for as long as I could remember; this exam seemed to have snatched that possibility away from me.

But we could rest for now, the exam was over.
"Thank God we're done with statistics." Samiat sighed in relief, mirroring my thoughts.
"We go again next session." Korede finished.
I groaned, suddenly remembering that we still had Econometrics to battle with; the mother bear, the fiercest of all.

Indeed we go again.

~ Shalom Bibire Oshiga